The Garden of Sexuality
“Throughout our lives, we receive ideas about sex... Whether we like them or not, often these seeds grow into plants, which then shape our sexual landscape.”
Throughout our lives, we receive ideas about sex.
We have no choice over what we hear. Many people - our family, friends, teachers, and lovers, not to mention books, songs, films, adverts and so on, plant little seeds in our minds. Whether we like them or not, often these seeds grow into plants, which then shape our sexual landscape. For example, a lot of women have a plant called ‘Only Boys Masturbate’ in their garden. Most of them don’t actually believe that only boys masturbate, but the plant is there all the same, casting a shadow on the earth, and for some women, it can make them feel weird about having a wank.
There are lots of plants in the play, Rejoicing At Her Wondrous Vulva The Young Woman Applauded Herself. A lot of them make the main character feel confused, or sad, or even ashamed. We can call these plants weeds, and we may try not to water them, for example by choosing not to read magazines that reinforce those particular ideas. But there are also some plants that make her feel proud, and alive. We may call these flowers, and try to feed them, for example by choosing to listen to songs that celebrate those things.
When Bella was researching the play, she interviewed different women, to find out what seeds had been planted in their minds. When she and Sara performed experimental extracts of the show at scratch nights, they asked people in the audience to write down some plants they had in their gardens. And when the full production was on at Ovalhouse, we had a mini garden in the foyer, where audience members could write down their plants, and hang them on a tree for everyone to read.
Here, in this online garden, are the plants we collected. A LOT of people wrote down the same things, as growing up in a similar culture, a lot of us received the same seeds, so if you recognise one or more of these plants here from your own garden of sexuality – you are not alone. And if you have plants in your mind that you don’t see here – please share them with us!
“We are still collecting seeds and the garden is still growing.”
We are still collecting seeds and the garden is still growing. There is no judgement here. Acknowledging that you have a plant does not mean that you believe it to be true. In fact, you may find that naming a plant can help you identify it as a weed and let it go, and sharing it with others may help them to do the same thing. Equally, if you have a beautiful exotic flower blooming in your mind and making you feel wonderful, please share it with us! Let’s see if we can help make them less rare J
Some people shared with us who planted the seed in the first place, and you can share that too, if you like. All plants will remain completely anonymous.
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